Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Why do people talk to me about stuff I don't care about? Am I just too nice of a person to tell them to fuck off. If I am saying "Yeah", "Right", "Uh-huh" it's because I don't have anything to say and I couldn't care less about your problems. Chances are I just want to get off the phone and stab myself in...
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Declared by Ted on Thursday, September 20, 2007
Never in the history of skankdom has such a despicable whore rolled out of a puss-soaked bed as LRS. This trollop is a cock-sucking homewrecker. There is absolutely nothing she won't put in her mouth and blow on. She is a tease, a tramp, a delight to the ides (of March - she's best at stabbing in the back...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, May 5, 2009
10‰ is baaaad
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Declared by Jihad al Beer on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Weather! Every godforsaken day weather. Sunny, cloudy, rainy & stormy weather. Hurricanes, tornados, taifuns. Monsoon. But no one day any of this bloody weather. And did we vote to have it? You? Me? All the other morons that pollute this sorry excuse for a planet? This has to stop - JUST SAY NO
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Declared by ho-ho-up-we-blow on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
I can't stand it when people use the word depressed like it was something normal and everyday. Depression means and unusual and significantly long term sadness. Regardless of what all the pharmaceutical commercials may have led you to believe there is another word for what you have. It is such a pity that...
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Declared by P.J. on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Damn you Corpus spongiosum which enables me to get erect, you get me hard at the worst times!
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Declared by Fustrated and Erect. on Saturday, November 3, 2007
You're pregnant again! Here's to you!
Hurrah!
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Declared by The people who love you. on Thursday, November 29, 2007
Sheetz is a terrible convenience store. It does not compare in any positive way, shape, or form, to the vastly superior Wawa.
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Declared by James on Friday, May 2, 2008
I declare JIHAD on the smoking tenant upstairs! WE share the same God DAMN cooling system! Your second-hand smoke comes through my vents and makes me SICK! May I add we live in a NON-SMOKING apartment complex.Your addicted ass can go outside and smoke your lungs away! Do not smoke inside where I get your...
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Declared by Anita on Monday, August 4, 2008
Every year, more than 30,000 people die of the regular flu. So swine flu really is no big deal. The only difference is that this flu is air born (spreads easier), but the media sure loves to milk it for all its worth.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sometimes I have the urge, to dash outside and marvel at all the flowers in my garden. How they sway as they are kissed softly by the breeze, how their sweet fragrances fill my lungs and make me feel like I'm a Japanese person in a stationary store.... And that rose, that sweet, sweet rose... sitting there...
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Declared by Ana Lime on Friday, June 10, 2011
eliza is a beautiful woman
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, February 12, 2012
i paid five bucks for my breakfast this morning, mostly because i wanted pancakes. standing one space behind you with ten pancakes left, i figured there'd be plenty. but no, apparently it takes exactly ten pancakes to feed your ninety pound sorority girl body. because of you, i had to downgrade to biscuits....
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Declared by derek on Monday, September 10, 2007
Death to the fat one
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Declared by Freedom Fighters on Sunday, October 7, 2007
You stupid non-showering bitch, we let you stay in our home while we moved into an apartment because you were to fucking delicate to get your own place. Fucking moocher shrew, getting him to sign that contract while he was sick so that you wouldn't have to leave or pay rent. You ruined the carpet you filthy...
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Declared by You know damn well who this is on Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I declare Jihad on your ass!
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Declared by Ian on Sunday, October 7, 2007
I hate this show. Not only does it show an hour of close-ups of sweating, jiggling flesh- it runs overtime every episode by 15-20 minutes!!! Who would want to go on the show anyways!? "Yeah, sure I'll go on it. Who wouldn't want to exercise their lazy ass to the point of a breakdown on national television...
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Declared by Fat Alberto on Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Jihad on you for not buying me a coffee, you infidel!
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Declared by You know who on Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I said Hello but what I ment was FUCK YOU!
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Declared by fuck you all and your mother on Friday, April 24, 2009