Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoIn the name of Allah, the all-knowing, the magnificent I declare you an infidel and swear on the beard of the prophet that you shall be utterly wasted this evening, Inshallah.
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Declared by Dr. Evil on Monday, October 15, 2007
For throwing a bottle at me.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Down with Turftoe! Down with Turftoe!
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Declared by Buckingham Ball Breakers on Thursday, December 6, 2007
I declare jihad on YOU!!!
Every time I reach out with my arms wide open, you turn your face away from me like you don't fucking notice me. I'm NOT a rapist, I'm just a huggy person!! There's a difference you know.
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Declared by Huggy Person on Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The guy i liked for two to three years is married. And quite recently. Ouch!
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Declared by dsfsdfaer on Saturday, July 16, 2011
Get. Out. Of. My. WAY!!! Why are you all awake and driving this early in the morning? This is my one chance to make it to the office in a reasonable amount of time and you're ruining it!!! There's no reason why it should take me 1.5 hours to drive 28 miles at 5AM...
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Declared by Dave on Friday, September 14, 2007
why oh why are you always so full of crap? where does it come from? why are you collecting it? no matter what i do, your stuff just keeps multiplying! I lose whole villages in your corners. please just take it easy on me. i have a lot to do and i need to you help me out a little here.
Thanks,
God
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Declared by God on Sunday, October 7, 2007
JOOOOODDEEE
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Declared by Peter on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
I wish someone would tell me exactly who is on that forum. I am convinced that there are alot more people on there than I think. Like I was facebook messaging with someone the other day i.e. Jos. He was like. If you ever need to vent, message me. My guess is.....: Jeh, Ro, Tre, Ke, Mic, Hen, Ela, Ell, Et,...
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Declared by wrerw on Saturday, July 9, 2011
Marianne is always talking to me while I'm at work. I tell her, I've got things to do. She doesn't care. She just talks and talks. It's like she doesn't have any friends. She just goes on talking about her rat boyfriends and her trips to far away exotic lands. It's just all too much. I'm trying to think...
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Declared by Chris on Monday, September 10, 2007
For the long chats,sleepless nigghts,boring advice,truck load of self praise and last but not the least.. for making me an ADDICT!!
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Declared by Pritz on Friday, October 12, 2007
n00b
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Declared by Ben on Monday, October 8, 2007
If we want a poached egg on our toast we should get it. Telling us that it 'won't fit' on the bread and only a fried egg will fit, is just insanity. What ever happened to "The customer is always right?!?!"
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Declared by TIME on Monday, October 8, 2007
I know you already have a jihad, but I thought you should have another one because Kantner called me.
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Declared by General on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Only in North America will someone claim to be your best friend then burn you, disrespect, and sell you out in front of others.
I have mmmannny of these so called friends. One would trip over his own ego to look cool in front of new people he would meet. He would make me look like shit in front of...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 14, 2011
L is starting to piss me off. All she does is gossips. Hello!! I know who you are. Firstly, you had an eye job. I also think you've had a nose job. Your nose looks kind of fake. And I also think you're lips look unnaturally large. Yeah. You look like you've had alot of work done on your face. I know for a...
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Declared by dgsdfgs on Sunday, July 10, 2011
I declare jihad on you for making me wait for my nugget by laying false claims.
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Declared by Seab on Thursday, January 24, 2008
I'm sick and tired of having to layer clothing like an astronaut before I leave the house. The wind then attempts to flay any exposed skin off my body. The next day it's seventy fucking degrees outside.
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, February 25, 2011
Stop buying clapped out motors ya dick u had a relly nice mr2
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Declared by the voice of reson on Thursday, November 29, 2007
JIHAD ON YOU, JIHAD ON YOUR MOTHER, JIHAD ON YOUR COW
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Declared by jihad jhon on Tuesday, April 21, 2015