Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare a Jihad on your ass!
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Declared by Becker on Monday, June 25, 2012
fk you
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Declared by dgv on Sunday, May 5, 2013
Listen, asshat. I have a news flash for you.
1) Just because I make your coffee, doesn't make you better than me.
2) If I hold out my hand for the money, don't throw it on the counter, tell me to pick it up and not expect me to throw your change back down the same way you did to me.
3) Your Armani...
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Declared by A lowly coffee peon on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Jihad Jihad jihad.. I must have my camera back.
A thousand curses upon you..
Your flight will leave on time,
May a blight go forth and leave San Diego barren of pumpkin, raisins, corn meal and yams.
May you grow cold and bitter like Rosie O' Donnell.
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Declared by David C on Monday, October 8, 2007
In Accordance to the will of Allah this Jihad hath been declared upon thine head for the following attrocities against the nation of Islam:
Cutting and preparing the swine to be feast upon by the gluttunous american infidels. May you and your job burn in the fiery pits of hell fire while the true martyrs...
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Declared by Emom Smith on Thursday, November 1, 2007
I place upon you a jihad in the name of Allah, due to the fact that it is politically incorrect to shag sheep all day and claim that you're straight
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Declared by SpongeBob on Friday, January 11, 2008
(Notice: The author of this jihad was obviously an imbecile who couldn't find his own dick, much less locate the caps lock button. We're leaving his sad excuse for a jihad in its original form as a reminder to everyone of why this website exists - there are more than enough ass-hats in this world to go...
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Declared by Fuck You on Thursday, April 17, 2008
You talk so much shit. Grow a pair and give it up with the pretentious peacemaker shit. Fucking whitekinights, shut the fuck up til you actually know what the hell is going on. Until then, give up the vanity crusades. You suck!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, April 2, 2015
For trying to stuff your hoplophobic agenda up America's back passage with your Firearms Fatwa, we, the Constitution loving vast, silent majority of the United States of America say: SHAME! Jihad on YOU!
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Declared by Citizens of the Republic on Thursday, May 2, 2013
She lives in the past
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Declared by Richard on Thursday, December 19, 2013
You fuckin whore! Stop sucking every dudes Dick!!! They really don't want to duck your feet! Yes, feet! NO ONE wants to puck your ugly pass feet!!! You are the worst friend in the world!!!! And you are a horrific mother!!! Who the duck leaves their kid every single night of the week just so she can go out...
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Declared by Sick of Nita F on Wednesday, October 1, 2014
fuck you
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 18, 2017
YOU MOTHERFUCKING CUNT U CAN GO TO HELL AND I HOPE U GET BLOW UP MY A SUICIDE BOMBER JUST FUCK OFF U HAVE NO FRIENDS JUST THE COMPUTER U STICK UR TINY DICK INTO U FUCK FACE
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Stop this madness now! words cannot begin to explain the rage and sorrow i feel towards this 'movement of insanely stupid ignorant and dangerous excuses for human beings'
Leave my planet alone in whatever name you see fit. lowlife scum. bastard sons of filthy rabies dogs.
Ridiculous unevolved creaturs....
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Declared by decraux on Wednesday, May 27, 2009
jihad on you you cunt give us some good weather in britain instead of pouring that cr*p water on us and when you do give us some good weather you go and piss it up again by making hail later
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Seriously. Two hours of wide ranging and interesting conversation, then you decide to just start ignoring me when you discover my sexual preference. (something that I was done talking about after one line) It's amazing how ridiculously shallow a person can turn out to be after seeming so deep and...
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Declared by Louis on Tuesday, December 8, 2009
You're a fucking psychotic bitch! Inventing stories to save yourself. I hope the earth opens up and swallows you whole. You're a fucking waste of air and space. DIE BITCH, DIE!!!
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Declared by Dr. B on Wednesday, August 22, 2012
I hope when most of you are arrested I hope when you go to jail you get raped up the ass by everyman in jail without lube. To make sure you get no lube I hope the guys cum on the floor isntead of up your ass. No lube for you! I hope you get raped with giant metal baseball bats without lube either. Better yet...
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Declared by Dude on Friday, March 22, 2013
Yoga snobs – people who think they’re better than you because they’ve practiced Yoga longer than you – are jerks. What kind of a schmuck tries to think they’re superior, acting like a snob? So childish and stupid.
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Declared by anonymous on Thursday, March 10, 2016
Men who dont take care of responsibility ie bills, and kids!
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, November 25, 2011