Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoThe Aliens are here. I declare Jihad on you!
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Declared by Simon on Monday, January 17, 2011
My older brother has spent years calling me fat, ugly, stupid, a whore, a cunt, and a bitch, among other things. I know I'm not most of these things (especially a whore, considering I've been faithful to the only significant other I've had), but it's starting to feel like no matter how much I try to think...
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Declared by matti on Monday, September 5, 2011
You're were my boyfriend and so we broke up because we weren't working. Why did you not care about me enough to make it work?! I'm so angry at you. I want to shake you and hurt you until I can break down your walls... But I won't, because I shouldn't have to convince someone to fight for me.
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Declared by Rachel on Thursday, May 3, 2012
You know who you are, you stupid little bitch. I was your friend. I was there for you whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on. And then when I needed someone you ignored me. Later you told me that you thought I was upset because I was jealous of you. You are fucking delusional, honey. No one is jealous of...
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Declared by Caz on Monday, September 24, 2012
I will slice you right now if you don't fucking talk to me today, I mean seriously its been 5 days, i don't want to burden you with emails but for fucks sake dude !
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Declared by Ariadne on Monday, July 21, 2014
For being a fucking liar
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 5, 2007
What good is your best friend if you can't declare holy war on him? You hickied me when I left your party. Scores of family, friends and customers have commented, jeered and laughed. I keeeel you! Alalalalalaa!
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Declared by Justice on Monday, October 8, 2007
You play in the PAC 10. You have no conference championship game. You have been overrated since 2002. Now shut the hell up. FUSC.
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Declared by LSU on Monday, October 15, 2007
If you'd screwed me in the car on the abandoned hiway that night, not only would we still be together, but we'd both be much much happier. I would've made it worth it...infidel.
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Declared by me on Tuesday, October 23, 2007
You're pregnant again! Here's to you!
Hurrah!
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Declared by The people who love you. on Thursday, November 29, 2007
From all of us in web design you suck!
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Declared by OZ on Monday, December 17, 2007
how can you of all people tell me i ruined my life !! when your the one who gave kids away like they were candy all becouse it wasent in your buddget to buy birthcontrol(drugs were more important) and by they way you dont win mother of the year for being sober for 10sec of the day..how dare you tell my...
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Declared by older and wiser on Friday, February 26, 2010
=)
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Declared by someone you likely don't know on Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Why the hell is my life so awesome. I cant complain about it because I am so "fortunate". Hell. Screw me.
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Declared by Your Neighborhood Rich Dick on Friday, May 20, 2011
You're an absolute ass. First you lecture me for weeks about how to act as though I were some fucking child, then you pigeonhole me into sitting around at your college for nine and a half hours because you can't be bothered to take a ten minute detour to pick me up afterwards. Enjoy the jihad, motherfucker.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 28, 2011
You know what....I have to stop wasting time and get off these sites. I need to find that drive I had during my last degree....back. And make something out of myself.
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Declared by wrwere on Tuesday, July 12, 2011
So I didn't see the "no spray deodorant sign". You could have brought it to my attention politely. Instead you exploded like a nuclear warhead. Keep coming to yoga class - you need to calm down.
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Declared by Jacques Lacan on Saturday, August 29, 2015
why is nina so amazing?
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Declared by eliza on Sunday, February 12, 2012
Here I am on a beautiful Saturday doing laundry, babysitting my husband's friend's dog while he goes 4-wheeling with some girl i've never met before clinging onto the back of him---why can't she just ride with her "boyfriend" who i've also never met?---and he never even invited me to go with!!! Never texted...
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Declared by Cindy on Saturday, July 7, 2012
It's always ruining my hiding spots. Also, my outfit looks pretty fuckin ridiculous in the daytime. I can't wait til that thing blows up.
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Declared by Just some nondescript guy on Wednesday, December 11, 2013