Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
You guys call yourselves Internet Service Providers, you guys are a bunch of dumb shits! Your service sucks, it doesn't work even HALF the time and its slow as hell!
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Declared by Bell Hater on Thursday, October 11, 2007
I am declaring Jihad on you for lack of coffee making
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Declared by Brian Bin Laden on Thursday, October 11, 2007
You're all a bunch of poserish monkeys who want to elieve you're cool when you haven't had a fucking original thought in your your empty headed lives. Especially my jailbait slut of a cousin. Loser.
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Declared by Chink Hater on Sunday, October 21, 2007
I declare a jihad on you for not acknowledging my presence and for not being online late into the night!
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Declared by Crocy on Sunday, November 11, 2007
You dress like a Jew, ohh yes you do!
Don't lie, my boy, I know you do!
So are...you a Jew?
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Declared by SpongeBob on Thursday, January 10, 2008
Open you smug ass AOL eyes and fucking look at shit before you think your too fucking good and start to waste my time!
Seriously You don't seem to understand this but every time you click that damn SPAM button on your email that you Opted to get, I have to manually remove you from the list then write...
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Declared by Rich on Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I declare Jihad on you because you are a skanky bitch who needs to take a bath and stop fucking old men. Such a shame...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, April 28, 2009
You punish me for exppressing myself then when I defend myself you smack me? What kind of mother are you? Jihad on your fat ass.
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Declared by Cassie on Monday, September 7, 2009
Here's a tip on putting an 'i' in front of everything: IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE! Fuck off and die a horrible death!
And Apple fanboys: If you don't like my rage, you are free to go kill yourselves too.
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Declared by Skully on Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sometimes I have the urge, to dash outside and marvel at all the flowers in my garden. How they sway as they are kissed softly by the breeze, how their sweet fragrances fill my lungs and make me feel like I'm a Japanese person in a stationary store.... And that rose, that sweet, sweet rose... sitting there...
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Declared by Ana Lime on Friday, June 10, 2011
Stop bringing in dead animals you bastard cat. Jihad! Jihad!
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Declared by Graham on Tuesday, October 25, 2011
why do you butt fuck?!
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Declared by wanting to know on Monday, November 12, 2012
You're were my boyfriend and so we broke up because we weren't working. Why did you not care about me enough to make it work?! I'm so angry at you. I want to shake you and hurt you until I can break down your walls... But I won't, because I shouldn't have to convince someone to fight for me.
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Declared by Rachel on Thursday, May 3, 2012
Fucking go back in time and don't have me, you fucking useless parents. Don't fucking cry you bitch, you mollusc, you fucking shit eating cunt.
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Declared by Don't fucking ask for my name on Sunday, April 21, 2013
O-M-G! Why would you EVER go anywhere when you are that ugly? You also smell bad, everyone runs away from your scent and your evil stalker stares. You kiss up to the teacher like a little dog, and it makes us want to puke - and the funny thing is, the teacher thinks you are an IDIOT. We hope she flunks you....
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Declared by Statistics Class on Sunday, September 9, 2007
C'mon. What happened to the cavemen days when we killed our food right there, ate it, and took a nap? What's all this modern office monkey crap for?
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Declared by Tarzan on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Most people are so stupid, smart people would do fine without you stupids. Build yourselves some rockets and go live on the sun you resource wasting, fuzzy animal killing buttheads.
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Declared by Detrus on Sunday, October 7, 2007
why oh why are you always so full of crap? where does it come from? why are you collecting it? no matter what i do, your stuff just keeps multiplying! I lose whole villages in your corners. please just take it easy on me. i have a lot to do and i need to you help me out a little here.
Thanks,
God
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Declared by God on Sunday, October 7, 2007
I'm declaring Jihad on TSTT for take so long before give Trinidad and Tobago adsl faster than 256K
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Declared by -= UP SET TRINI =- on Monday, October 8, 2007