Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoi just want to see your pictures
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
To everyone at the wine tasting table at last weekend's wedding:
All of you were gushing about the wine selection and how delicious and wonderful it was. Bullshit! It was disgusting because wine is always disgusting. It tastes like chemicals.
When you say you "love" a glass of wine, aren't you really...
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Declared by Ashley on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
For feeding me poison squid and making me miss a night of celebration at Nobu. Damn you.
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, October 9, 2007
human beings are not HERBIVORES! nature decided they should eat other animals lower on the evolutionary ladder! eat a pork chop you pussy (by the way this isn't the site to get into some religious debate OK?!)
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Declared by Carnivore on Sunday, May 24, 2009
May your name be forever obliterated from the work week and find its way into the weekend's anus.
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Declared by Peteramsbertsass Hasan on Monday, September 10, 2007
You fucking stupid ass fuckers who say you're going to do something, get someone's hopes up and then don't follow through, leaving said someone feeling hopeless, isolated, stigmatized, and depressed. Yeah thats right you, caitlain, claudia, and marley. You fucking morons who have the audacity to dump me from...
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Declared by Me on Saturday, April 30, 2011
Mother fucker I know you're just using me. You obviously don't see me as a human being, oh you think I'll be your fucking atm. Oi fucktard guess what? You're fucking obvious motherfucker I'm not gonna go and pick you up. I told you I'm busy asshole, Oh fuck don't blame for you not getting a job you fucking...
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Declared by Someguy on Thursday, June 14, 2018
I hereby declare a holy war against the smug, jargon-spouting, money-wasting old boy network of the Bishops' Conference of England and Wales.
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Declared by Damian Thompson on Monday, October 8, 2007
I feel suffocated by it. So many people are hazy with their judgment because of it. It makes me feel alone yet surrounded by idiots.
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Declared by Caungardh on Monday, October 8, 2007
You fuckfaces are what's wrong with society!! No wonder you're 50 and single 'cause no guy could survive living with the crap that I do!
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, May 7, 2015
A pox and curse be upon you, you great satan institution of poverty creation! May you roast in the fires of hell for destroying our lives by ruining our money! You will baste in the roasted juices of your fellow thieving bankers eternally.
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Declared by ActionMac on Monday, October 8, 2007
you dicks have no concept of time-keeping, and the idea of calling up and cancelling a plan does not seem to be a part of your fucking "culture". stuck in this country for the last 7 years, as always i'm expected to keep it all in, everything's all right. NO, fuck this place, and fuck you SOBs
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, September 19, 2010
pregnant liar. your belly is as big as your lie. BITCH.
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Declared by Rozzzccooo on Saturday, November 24, 2012
I thought pinoys were one of the happiest people on earth and could take jokes any day. Why are you so mad about the racial slur against pinoys about our medical schools?! It's really the fault of the crappy system of fake certificates and diplomas. And Cory Aquino being called a slut?! She switched sides...
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Declared by fellow_pinoy on Monday, October 8, 2007
Jihad on me for using the word Jihad without really knowing what it means, because I'm more interested in typing my jihad gibberish than researching the origins and nuances of this word.
Oh, and recognize the legalization of ganja, mufukers. It's our birthright!
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Declared by Person on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
My fellow americans, i am here to apoligize for my shitty job at being president. So please, Jihad on my old ass.
Sincerely,
George W. Bush
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Declared by George W. Bush on Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I don't get it. I grew up in the Wesleyan Church and had some really good times there. I went to youth camps and graduated from a Wesleyan university (a real one).
I just don't get it though. Every single Wesleyan church I've been to (and I'm talking HUNDREDS of them) are absolutely terrible. They're...
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Declared by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 17, 2014
To all the people of the world that live to be offended, and to seek redress or revenge for that perceived offense, I declare jihad on you. Try dealing with yourself before you go unilaterally clean up the world and remake it in your own image. Give it a rest.
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Declared by Morgan on Sunday, October 7, 2007
You Suck
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, October 10, 2007
I Don't give a fuck that you think life is harder for you than for everyone else, even though it isn't.
I don't give a fuck if you think you were right, proven wrong and can't accept it.
I don't give a fuck that it's 'everyone elses fault' that your life has fallen to shit.
I don't give a fuck that...
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Declared by I'm Done with this on Wednesday, September 3, 2008