Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoEmily, praise Allah that he sent me a vision last night in the midst of my drunken stupor that revealed the innermost workings of your maniacal brain. This morning, with head pounding due to the prior night's overindulgence, I spoke with the mullahs regarding you. They agreed that you are an idiot!
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Declared by Omar The Dummy on Tuesday, April 28, 2009
i hope you get smacked by karma, you ruin every perfect day with your face.
i may have messed up once BUT YOU MESSED UP 16 YEARS OF MY LIFE
i hate how you think you own everything and anything in this world.... I AM BETTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, September 17, 2011
I fucking hate you. You're the reason this family has problems. And yes you *are* indeed an idiot. Don't you EVER fucking come to me wondering why I don't talk to you or why I don't want to be around you. DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME TO CHANGE! *YOU* FUCKING CHANGE YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR A FATHER! HOW can you...
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Declared by Mary on Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Stop wallowing in self-pity induced self-righteous anger and hatred for one second and LOOK at what you are doing to your children! Your overwhelming need to have everyone on earth feel sorry for your struggles is screwing up those poor boys.
"Look at me! My children have ISSUES. Ok... granted, I CAUSED...
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Declared by Defender of your wonderful, fabulous boys on Friday, January 3, 2014
Fucking go back in time and don't have me, you fucking useless parents. Don't fucking cry you bitch, you mollusc, you fucking shit eating cunt.
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Declared by Don't fucking ask for my name on Sunday, April 21, 2013
YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BIG ASS EGO AND YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE. FUCK YOU YOU BITCHING ASSFUCK. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT YOU BETTER LEARN SOME RESPECT YOU FUCKING BIMBO. THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS YOU ASSHOLE AND I HOPE IT STAYS THAT WAY UNLESS YOU FUCKING CHANGE. FUCKING EGO...
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Declared by K on Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Fuck you
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 10, 2012
Trying to force me to love you after you turned my life into a living hell isn't going to work. Neither is telling me that I'm not really angry at you and that you know how I feel more than I do. Also, lying to me the first time you see me in months after I've told you you need to work if you want me to...
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Declared by Oh sorry I forgot I'm just a dumb bitch on Sunday, July 29, 2012
You motherfucking shit head!
Stop drinking that fuckingshitpiece of a beer!
Get you a fucking fat ass life you fat piece of shit!
Sorry dad
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Declared by kid on Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Well....boy problems, I have none. I shall complain about my past. Theres this girl called S. And she was a "friend" I hung out for six months. She was so pushy!! I went on holidays with her and all she would do is yell if she didnt get her way. So the friendship was basically me (being the nice person I...
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Declared by sfwerw on Saturday, July 9, 2011
This is the last time I lend you loo roll, just for you to stink out the bathroom.
Certainly worths a Jihad.
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Vole si mne nasral pyco sem se zeblitej probudil a pepan rika ze uz nejsu v kapele se di se visrat kokote
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Declared by Ungr on Monday, October 8, 2007
I declare Fatwa on you!
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Declared by Pavel on Monday, October 29, 2007
YOU WORTHLESS, INBRED, DUMBASS, ANNOYING TRUCK DRIVING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU HAVE RUINED SO MUCH OF MY LIFE IT'S NOT EVEN A CLICHE TO SAY IT! I'M A GLAD YOU WENT TO JAIL AND SURE I MAY HAVE FORGIVEN YOU BU TYOU ARE STILL A WORTHLESS ASSHOLE! I HAVE LEARNING AND BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS BECAUSE OF YOU! I FUCKING HATE...
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Declared by PissedOff@Dad on Monday, May 7, 2012
Jihad on you Mofo!!!
I dont understand why you gave birth to me ?
I am your daughter , you should not be looking at me in the wrong places....fuck you !!! Asshole .. mother fucking asshole....dick sucker...disgusting bitch....jihad on your wretched fucking eyes that hover on me in a dirty way all the...
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Declared by cryingoutloud on Saturday, October 6, 2012
I hate the fact my horrible mother seldom sleeps. It's now about 5 minutes before 6:00 a.m. on Thursday, and my hideous mom has been awake since 10:00 a.m. on Tuesday. During this whole time, she's been pacing, reading a book, dragging a chair against the tile floor, and constantly flushing the toilet and...
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Declared by anon on Thursday, June 4, 2015
AARGH!!!!
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Declared by dfgd on Monday, October 8, 2007
After two years I found out you was the one who stole my PS3. You still lied even though the evidence clearly states you are the one.
My Father Lee,
You was never there for me growing up. Drugs, being a male slut, and taking care of other people especially women were more...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, March 25, 2010
Just stop shitting in your pants already and maybe I'll buy you that goddamn Buzz Lightyear. And if you don't want to take a bath, then I guess you won't go to the park and get so goddamn dirty anymore. To think, in 12 years, you'll be putting a Jihad on me. Well, bucko, when I'm shitting myself in a home,...
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Declared by NotTheMomma on Sunday, October 7, 2007
It is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008