Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoIt is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008
i hope you get smacked by karma, you ruin every perfect day with your face.
i may have messed up once BUT YOU MESSED UP 16 YEARS OF MY LIFE
i hate how you think you own everything and anything in this world.... I AM BETTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, September 17, 2011
I am a wimp. My son's growing. He's 2.5 yrs now. I need to grow faster and become a manly man before he becomes 4 -5 yrs
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Declared by steve on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I can't stand you you fucking liar you've destroyed our family with your insidious lies and bullshit. I wish you would just fuck off and die.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 19, 2012
For calling me during Judge Judy to win my affection.
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Declared by One any only ZigZag on Monday, October 15, 2007
nothing
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, July 1, 2011
You're, for the most part, an awesome friend. But when I'm getting back into the dating scene, the last thing I need to hear from you is you making comments about my upcoming date that don't matter to me, but still put me in a foul mood because we get into a debate over it and I get annoyed at you. You're...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, June 13, 2011
You are one piece of disgusting shit, your sneakiness and lies make me want to hurt you.
I hope someone beats you up, shaves off your eyebrows, rapes you, cuts off your balls, rolls you in a carpet and thows you in a dumpster.
I HOPE YOU DIE A MISERABLE DEATH YOU HORRIBLE, CRUEL, ABUSIVE MAN.
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Declared by K on Thursday, October 14, 2010
You are a fucking twat, violent, ignorant, childish and selfish, all you care about is your own fucking arse, you make me miserable and I fucking hate you and your fucking eastern european moustache and your fucking pink shorts that make you look like a fat cunt which you are
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Declared by Dyke on Friday, December 17, 2010
Why must you eat so loudly Dad ? ;( And you know i have an issue with it .....You do know that is not a good habit.... And yet you refuse to change......I am sorry Dad, i refuse to try to put up with something i loathe so deeply for someone who is unwilling to meet me half-way....
And dad....STOP EATING...
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Declared by Frustrated on Monday, April 30, 2012
The poor infidel Children of Divorce who get to have 2 Christmas's, two birthdays, two family holidays and behave badly because they are poor widdle Children of Divorce....grow up!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, November 21, 2011
You want to call me a bitch, I dont care if your we were drunk motherfucker. The psychological jihad has started and your ass is cut off from my circle bitch. Im no longer your cousin freddy kruger looking faggot. I hope you turn homo when you go to state jail.
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Declared by Your 2nd Cousin on Saturday, February 18, 2012
I put a jihad on your for your insolence!!!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, June 25, 2012
You ar
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Declared by bib on Wednesday, October 9, 2013
You take my mommy's attention away from me sometimes. Meow!!!
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Declared by Maki on Sunday, September 9, 2007
Emily, praise Allah that he sent me a vision last night in the midst of my drunken stupor that revealed the innermost workings of your maniacal brain. This morning, with head pounding due to the prior night's overindulgence, I spoke with the mullahs regarding you. They agreed that you are an idiot!
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Declared by Omar The Dummy on Tuesday, April 28, 2009
You are a stupid, psycho mother fucker and should be wiped off the face from your earth. Next time you come here and drink till it fucking dissolves your last few brain cells, I'll cut your ass open with a beer bottle.
Fuck you.
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Declared by FUCK OFF, LOSER !!! on Friday, January 15, 2010
My mother is a dumb asshole that keeps talking me outside to shop when she doesn't even know what she wants from the supermarket and spends and hour looking for what she wants making me walk around with all the heavy things when she herself clearly can't carry it around either. I hate how long she takes to...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, June 23, 2011
My older brother has spent years calling me fat, ugly, stupid, a whore, a cunt, and a bitch, among other things. I know I'm not most of these things (especially a whore, considering I've been faithful to the only significant other I've had), but it's starting to feel like no matter how much I try to think...
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Declared by matti on Monday, September 5, 2011
You punish me for exppressing myself then when I defend myself you smack me? What kind of mother are you? Jihad on your fat ass.
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Declared by Cassie on Monday, September 7, 2009