Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI am a wimp. My son's growing. He's 2.5 yrs now. I need to grow faster and become a manly man before he becomes 4 -5 yrs
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Declared by steve on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Of course, I love you. But do you know how many times I've wanted to look you straight in the eyes and say "If you don't listen to me I'm going to burn this house down"?
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, October 8, 2007
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch!
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Declared by Osama Bin Laden on Tuesday, October 16, 2007
My evil sisters for letting there 3 year old daugters jump on my head when i was sleeping
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Declared by chris on Thursday, October 18, 2007
You punish me for exppressing myself then when I defend myself you smack me? What kind of mother are you? Jihad on your fat ass.
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Declared by Cassie on Monday, September 7, 2009
fuck you for being a total asshole and never listening to me and acting like a four year old you stupid fucktard
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, January 2, 2012
how can you of all people tell me i ruined my life !! when your the one who gave kids away like they were candy all becouse it wasent in your buddget to buy birthcontrol(drugs were more important) and by they way you dont win mother of the year for being sober for 10sec of the day..how dare you tell my...
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Declared by older and wiser on Friday, February 26, 2010
I declare Fatwa on you!
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Declared by Pavel on Monday, October 29, 2007
FUCK YOU. you don't tell me it's my fucking responsibility to ask about my own health issues such as hepatitis. jesus fucking christ im only sixteen! which fucking 16 year old would worry about getting hepatitis from eating a bunch of clams?! fuck you, trying to pin it on me, it's my duty i'm old enough?...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, November 29, 2008
It is with grave determination to preserve the teachings of holy Islam and to uphold my submission to Allah the Merciful by declaring Jihad on you and your wretched family. Be afraid Michael, be very afraid, for Allah will not be merciful to any member of your household.
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Declared by Bob on Tuesday, December 9, 2008
i hope you get smacked by karma, you ruin every perfect day with your face.
i may have messed up once BUT YOU MESSED UP 16 YEARS OF MY LIFE
i hate how you think you own everything and anything in this world.... I AM BETTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, September 17, 2011
I hate you!
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Declared by Thomas on Sunday, October 7, 2007
Stop wallowing in self-pity induced self-righteous anger and hatred for one second and LOOK at what you are doing to your children! Your overwhelming need to have everyone on earth feel sorry for your struggles is screwing up those poor boys.
"Look at me! My children have ISSUES. Ok... granted, I CAUSED...
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Declared by Defender of your wonderful, fabulous boys on Friday, January 3, 2014
My husband keeps thinking about work and business and is always mad at me whenever I tried to open a conversation. I think he treats me more like horse shit than a proper wife!
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, January 21, 2013
let me fucking drive, i don't want to be stuck here with your lame ass all day
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Declared by jman on Sunday, July 26, 2009
SO. I am leaving for college in less than one year. I am currently a senior in high school. and i, along with the majority of the teenage population, am treated like a child. My mother won't let me make my own breakfast because she says I "won't make it nutritious enough". She still checks my texts and...
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Declared by sydney on Monday, August 11, 2014
jihad
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Declared by allah on Friday, May 6, 2011
I can't stand you you fucking liar you've destroyed our family with your insidious lies and bullshit. I wish you would just fuck off and die.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Fucking go back in time and don't have me, you fucking useless parents. Don't fucking cry you bitch, you mollusc, you fucking shit eating cunt.
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Declared by Don't fucking ask for my name on Sunday, April 21, 2013
I CAN'T FRICKIN FINISH THE ACTUAL ENTIRE YEAR OF SCIENCE IN THREE FUCKING DAY. SERIOUSLY STOP GIVING ME SHIT FOR TAKING A GODDAMN THREE MIN BREAK AFTER WORKING MY ASS OFF ALL DAY
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Declared by Ace on Thursday, May 31, 2018