Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoMy fucking birch of a mum just told me that it's my fault that I am ugly and fat, and not to come crying to her when i feel so awful and depressed. All because I ate some cake and chocolate today. She's the motherfucking obese lady, how dare she fucking talk to me like that.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Dirka Dirka!
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Declared by Dusty on Monday, October 8, 2007
Dam pedo
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Declared by bigchris on Monday, October 8, 2007
It's hilarious, but you must be stopped. No-one likes the color orange anyway.
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Declared by Craig Childs on Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I send hate missiles raining down on you. And your phone, since you obviously don't use it.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, January 22, 2009
I worked on a magnet application for four hours and when I pressed the submit button, guess what I got...A LOGIN SCREEN...I logged in...all that work was LOST!
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Declared by Sami Patel on Thursday, February 5, 2009
A motherfucking JIHAD on your cruel world for letting the assholes and bitches get all the good karma while I get shitted on more and more every year. What the hell else am i supposed to do?!!! I give up.
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Declared by Lexie on Saturday, December 29, 2012
For being a true cocksucker and fuckface - eat shit packy
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, October 25, 2013
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA you fucking pathetic despicable country of Philippines finally got what you deserved, a big typhoon. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA EAT IT BITCHES!!!!!! I love it when evil people get what they deserve. hope your whole fucking country goes underwater. FUCK YOU PHILIPINES!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU...
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Declared by Anonymous on Monday, November 18, 2013
WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE GOING TO BEAT MY BROKE ASS INTO THE DIRT AND BURY ME. 400 FOR A SHINY PLASTIC BOX AND 60 FOR A CONTROLLER AND ANOTHER 60 FOR EVERY MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN GAME. OH DONT YOU FUCKING FORGET THE XBOX LIVE MEMBERSHIP! I MAY AS WELL PUT MY FUCKING GAME INTO MY CUISINART TOASTER AND IT WILL...
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Declared by EVERYONE on Tuesday, December 30, 2014
There's something wrong with the gays who scream that they hate the opposite sex- especially their own opposite sex parent - disturbing.
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Declared by anon. on Saturday, April 1, 2017
I am declaring a Jihad on Big Chris because I feel that he deserves it.
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Declared by JayJay on Monday, October 8, 2007
In Accordance to the will of Allah this Jihad hath been declared upon thine head for the following attrocities against the nation of Islam:
Cutting and preparing the swine to be feast upon by the gluttunous american infidels. May you and your job burn in the fiery pits of hell fire while the true martyrs...
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Declared by Emom Smith on Thursday, November 1, 2007
For engaging the OECD in a blatant political stunt by declaring War on Carbon.
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Declared by JCM on Saturday, March 8, 2008
my jihad is against the call centres, who ,when they are not trying to annoy the hell out of us with thier insanely infuriating robotic answer phones ..." dial 3 for..." at which point they completely cut you off nd start playing the ' on hold ' music which usually tends to be a quartet of violins which...
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Declared by bob on Sunday, May 25, 2008
May all the camels in the world shit on your business causing bankruptcy so you're family knows what it's like to have to kiss ass for a job
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Declared by Susan on Thursday, December 9, 2010
Psalm 28:4 NIV
Repay them for their deeds and for their evil work; repay them for what
their hands have done and bring back upon them what they deserve.
Proverbs 3:27 NIV
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.
Deuteronomy 32:36 NIV
The LORD will judge...
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, July 21, 2011
Jihad on you. If you were any kind of loving son you would have been there for your mom but all you ever called for was about her bank statement now you act like you care since she's sick.You can fool her but I shame on you for calling day and night checking on insurance policies.
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Declared by See right thru you on Monday, March 18, 2013
HIDING THE TRUTH
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Declared by Anonymous on Sunday, June 2, 2013
I hereby delare that you, Kevin Brown, are no subject to a jihad, issued under the authority of His Righteous Majesty Craig (Warden of Hulme), Your jihad is the result of your failure to wash-up in a manner of which I approve.
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Declared by Craig on Monday, October 8, 2007