Are you serious?
Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoJihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoI declare a Jihad against you, Nick, for travesties against me and my beliefs and the attempted destruction of all that is right.
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Declared by Aalee "The Butcher" bin Imamul Muttaqeen on Monday, April 2, 2012
I have a friend named Alex. Alex likes my other friend, Emma. Alex often comes to me for advice on Emma, until he confesses and finds out she just wants to be friends. Alex really loves her, and wants her to love him so still continues to come to me for advice. Emma really likes Aaron, a complete douchebag,...
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Declared by Peaches on Sunday, January 5, 2014
You fucking prick son of a bitch only you know to micromanage. Good for nothing. You cock sucker. Dont know how you got into cfo. You are no way even near to be called as a leader you pig Go get a life Die in Hell or get casted in horrible bosses 3!!!!! You bitch.
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Declared by Anonymous on Thursday, June 4, 2015
I love butt sex with you but now that you have cheated on me with jackson, I feel our love is lost.
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, February 3, 2016
ARGHHH. ok so my two best friends are super awesome and funny, but they make these jokes about me, but sometimes they take it too far. I don't want to lose my friends since they are like the only friends i have. But i also don't want to be the butt of a joke anymore.
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Declared by emmah rockie on Monday, March 5, 2018
If they aren't developing a site allowing humans to express their hatred they are dancing like drunk-ass strippers to Fleetwood Mac's greatest hits. All the while not playing with me.
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Declared by Heck, Yeah! on Sunday, September 9, 2007
I hate you for not completing the Title Policy Workflow
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Declared by Afzal Wali on Monday, October 8, 2007
Wankstain of a teacher @ the shittiest skool in teh south
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Declared by 4 chan party van on Friday, November 2, 2007
Stop giving us so much damn trig homework. Fuck, I hate TRIG!
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Declared by jihadkind on Sunday, December 16, 2007
I declare war at faulty values, the deathism in particularly. Mostly all religious people can be tagged as deathists. And almost all atheists too. They want to die of old age eventually. They want me to grow old and die, they want you to die the same way, everyone. Is not it freaky? They say it's "natural"....
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Declared by Ev on Monday, August 18, 2008
Jihad on you, you lowbrow, sick bastards! I swear if I notice ONE kilobyte difference in speed I will fucking stalk you and hunt you down!
Signed,
The guy who will now have to put up with a super-slow under dialup speed until his next bill comes (a month away) or until the ISP rings up and says they...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, August 5, 2009
A Jihad on you - just for being you!!!!!!!!!!
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Declared by Abu Garcia on Thursday, June 20, 2013
For trying to stuff your hoplophobic agenda up America's back passage with your Firearms Fatwa, we, the Constitution loving vast, silent majority of the United States of America say: SHAME! Jihad on YOU!
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Declared by Citizens of the Republic on Thursday, May 2, 2013
YOU invited us to do a residency in your 'space' but we can't fucking work because your underpaid slaves sorry household help keep tidying our shit away and turning off the hot water in prep for your weekly fiestas for your tight-faced cougar gal-pals to celebrate oh, i don't know, nightfall. it's 10am on a...
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, January 25, 2014
You know the reason why we drifted apart?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME!
We men aren't telepaths.
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Declared by JB from ADV33 1989 on Saturday, September 5, 2015
Today, this idiot woman (blonde hair) standing to the left of the front door at Whole Foods at 4520 N. Sepulveda Blvd. in Sherman Oaks was a rude bully, smirking at me at ridiculing me. I have no idea why people who shop at Whole Foods feel the need to be so mean-spirited and rude. I hope this nitwit...
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Declared by anonymous on Thursday, March 22, 2018
Get a life you played out beezy!
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Declared by geztron on Monday, October 8, 2007
So you don't like your hours or your pay huh? Well do what the rest of us have to do (in the real world) and GET ANOTHER FUCKING JOB.
If you layabouts had to work in the real world where our pensions are worth £1.50 and there's no "sick rota" (you know what I mean you fuckers) then you'd have something...
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Declared by Jaxta on Friday, October 12, 2007
Fuck you. I'm so glad I just broke it off with you. I've been thinking about it forever to save your fucking feelings you fucking asshole. I'm so sick of doing everything for you. Am I your mother? No. Cook your own fucking dinner sometimes. No wonder why you're so bloody fat. I have to pay for all...
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Declared by anonymous on Thursday, February 12, 2009
They smell like vodka, and I don't like them.
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Declared by Austin on Sunday, August 24, 2008