Jihad on you! is a satirical website for venting frustrations. Its creators do not condone any kind of violence.
Find out more | Contact infoAccording to the most holy words that hath been poured upon the worthy tounge of allahs great prophet I delcare this Jihad upon thine own head.
And it shall be declared as a parable saying:
Behold, it came to pass in the time of night, that as I, even I The Nathan lay at rest; that a trance came upon me....
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Declared by The Nathan on Saturday, November 24, 2007
You're always so busy when anyone else needs something - writing that bullshit email, cleaning your desk, picking a wedgie from your 200lb ass. (I just threw up in my mouth a little) All I want is the phone number for the Human Resources office, but you're too busy. "Come back tomorrow!" I've got an idea,...
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Declared by FUKWURK on Tuesday, February 26, 2008
You're dead to me. After 6.5 fantastic years we were engaged, happily, for a world of reasons, and you dropped the ball on me and everything else in life because you all of a sudden didn't have the backbone to work through your own insecurities and fears without stabbing me in the back to make things more...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, April 1, 2009
You didn't freaking tell us we could retake one test per year, you infidel!
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Declared by A & E on Thursday, May 28, 2009
You filthy mutt, have you not yet learnt that people think you're a disgusting person? I mean, you turned your ex-boyfriend of women altogether, then again, I wouldn't call you a woman, I'd call you a child, you foul git.
LEAVE HOME, you are in your 20's and you're yet to move out, I mean seriously, piss...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Is it me mumbling or is it your hearing and your lack of common sense? I said Telstra, not "Toshtra". What the hell is a "Toshtra" anyway?
Sounds like you just need something to WHINGE about again.
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Declared by No you on Thursday, December 30, 2010
I am so fucking done with this bullshit, my blood related relatives, are not my family, they are a bunch of narcissistic pricks who have their heads up their own asses, they need to get a fucking clue about why I have bad grades, can you not take a fucking hint? I'm smart as fucking hell, I know that,...
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Declared by Jared Griffin on Monday, June 24, 2013
Jihad on you Mofo!!!
I dont understand why you gave birth to me ?
I am your daughter , you should not be looking at me in the wrong places....fuck you !!! Asshole .. mother fucking asshole....dick sucker...disgusting bitch....jihad on your wretched fucking eyes that hover on me in a dirty way all the...
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Declared by cryingoutloud on Saturday, October 6, 2012
Irritating Tan Li Ching
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Declared by Anonymous on Friday, May 8, 2015
ARGHHH. ok so my two best friends are super awesome and funny, but they make these jokes about me, but sometimes they take it too far. I don't want to lose my friends since they are like the only friends i have. But i also don't want to be the butt of a joke anymore.
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Declared by emmah rockie on Monday, March 5, 2018
Hey pointy haired boss man. Get an original idea, make a plan, stick with it. You're driving us insane and this division to the ground!
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Declared by Any of his employee's on Monday, October 8, 2007
iTunes updates - why is it that I have to download the entire application every time Apple updates iTunes? It's called incremental updates! Get a fucking clue and stop forcing me to download 50 megs to listen to a fucking song.
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Declared by dumpster on Monday, October 8, 2007
Because they are unable to live their life honestly and they want to bring all around Europe their criminality.
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Declared by Antonello on Monday, October 8, 2007
Make me cum already!
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Declared by Frustrated wifey on Wednesday, December 19, 2007
You Self Righteous Fuck.
I'm Getting MotherFucking Sick of you.
Quit flirting with my Gf and my friend's Gf
All you do is bitch you sorry sack of shit!
You suck the principal's dick to get on the show!
I hate you.
Sometimes I want to tear your dick shaped head off.
Fuck off and die
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Declared by Threshold on Tuesday, September 30, 2008
FUCK THIS SHIT! FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE! i fucking owe the government 9 fucking k's for some stupid not well planned scheme, fuck that! and yeah, FUCK YOU TOO LYDIA! iv'e done what you said! discreetly and carefully too! I fucking stayed how many sleepless nights doing what you asked me too and in the end i got...
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Declared by sir.toomanyfack-alot on Saturday, November 24, 2012
For trying to stuff your hoplophobic agenda up America's back passage with your Firearms Fatwa, we, the Constitution loving vast, silent majority of the United States of America say: SHAME! Jihad on YOU!
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Declared by Citizens of the Republic on Thursday, May 2, 2013
you broke my heart.
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Declared by Anonymous on Saturday, June 1, 2013
LOL! Some ignorant jerk named Talia Felix, who claims to be a so-called makeup and cosmetics "expert" (yeah, right: ha, ha) , is running around saying that makeup worn by 1900s - 1920s movie star Theda Bara was brightly colored: red mascara (wtf?), purple lipstick, and brown and peach eyeshadow. No way. Fake...
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Declared by Anon. on Saturday, September 19, 2015
To the A-Hole cell phone thief at Los Angeles MTA Redline station: You stole my smart phone sometime after midnight (it had a bright pink case), and you are a schmuck who had been sodomized (raped in the anus) by your grandfather when you were a little kid. That's why you commit crimes like stealing people's...
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Declared by Anonymous on Wednesday, March 2, 2016